What does it take to raise children who know God, not just children who know about Him? That question followed me through a month of prayer and reflection, until it settled into words on this page. As a mother of four daughters, from my eldest at fourteen to my youngest not yet four, I am learning that raising children in faith is one of the most humbling assignments God can give. There are no easy formulas. There is only trust, obedience and the daily work of showing them the God I serve. This is what that daily work looks like in my home.
The Question That Started It All
Earlier this month I felt God leading me towards this topic, though I did not choose it easily. I sat down to write and found nothing. Then one word kept returning: parenting. I do not mean only biological parents. Parenting also lives in grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers and anyone entrusted with a child’s life. Whoever you are to that child, the question stands: how do you raise children who know God, not simply children who have heard of Him?
Parenting is hard. It is one of the greatest blessings God gives us, and also one of the most humbling paths we will walk. I do not have it figured out. Proverbs 3:5 (NIV) says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” (BibleGateway). I return to that verse often, because the responsibility of raising children in faith is far greater than anything I can manage in my own strength.
The world my daughters are growing up in looks different to the one I knew. Ours was not saturated with social media, or so many voices competing for a child’s attention. Even with boundaries at home, my daughters step into a school day, friendships and conversations I am not part of. They come home sometimes surprised by what they have heard, and so am I. That is the reality every parent now has to reckon with, whatever we teach at home.
Why Prayer Alone Is Not Enough
Recently, my daughter asked me a question that stayed with me for days. She wanted to know how some children with praying parents still make choices that do not honour God. It was a fair question, and an honest one. We spoke about how powerful a praying parent can be, and how important it is to cover our children in prayer. I have written before about what that covering costs a parent, in A Prayer for Every Parent. However, I also told her something I believe with my whole heart: a parent’s prayer is powerful, but every child still needs their own relationship with God.
One day, our children will face moments we cannot see and situations we are not there for. There will be times they feel afraid, confused or overwhelmed, with no one nearby to explain it to. In those moments, I want my children to run to God, not only because they watched their mother pray, but because they know Him for themselves. Teaching children to pray is where that begins, long before we know whether they will need it.
What Does It Mean to Raise Children Who Know God?
Our children watch us pray, fast, worship and attend church. Watching, though, is not the same as understanding. If I only tell my children that prayer matters, without living a life shaped by it myself, they notice the gap. Raising children who know God means letting them see the reasons behind what we do, not only the routine of doing it. It is close to what I described when writing about aligning our spirit with God, because children read our alignment long before they can name it.
More Caught Than Taught: Leading by Example
Our greatest teaching tool is not our words. It is our example. 1 Corinthians 11:1 says, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” If I teach honesty and my children see dishonesty, they learn from what they see, not what I say. Sunday matters. Church, scripture and godly influence all matter. However, what happens on Monday, when a decision has to be made without me in the room? That is the real test of modelling faith well, and it is what separates children who know God from children who only know the rules.
I think about this most on the ordinary days, the ones with no lesson planned, when my daughters are simply watching how I speak to people, how I handle disappointment, or how I recover after I get something wrong. Those quiet, unremarkable days teach more than any conversation about faith ever could.
Praying for the Company They Keep
We cannot always choose our children’s friends, though we can pray for their discernment. Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) reminds us that “iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (BibleGateway). I have written before about choosing alignment in the people we keep, and the same principle holds for our children’s circles. I am teaching my daughters to pray this for themselves: Lord, give me wisdom to recognise the relationships that are good for me, and the courage to walk away from what pulls me from You. This is part of raising children in faith that lasts beyond our own watch.
Raising a Generation Who Carry Their Own Faith
Isaiah 54:13 promises that all our children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace. That is the prayer behind every quiet word I whisper over my daughters. Not children who simply know about God, but children who know God, who carry their own faith into rooms I will never enter. If you are raising children in faith today, you are not failing simply because it feels hard. Keep going. Pray with them, and just as importantly, teach them to pray on their own. What is one thing you could do this week to help your own children know Him for themselves?
