He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91:1, NKJV). I have known that verse most of my life. I did not always understand what it would come to mean for me. Long before there was a retreat, a gathering, or a ministry called Her Secret Place, there was a simple prayer I had prayed since I was a teenager: Lord, bless me so that I can be a blessing to others. This is part one of a two-part series. It is the story of the secret place of prayer that came before any of it had a name.
What the Secret Place of Prayer Actually Means
I gave my life to Christ at thirteen, after being born into a Muslim family. That decision changed the shape of everything that followed. From that day, prayer became part of my relationship with God. I would be lying if I said it was ever tidy. There were seasons when I prayed faithfully, and seasons when I could barely bring myself to pray at all.
For me, the secret place of prayer is not a location. It is the posture of coming to God honestly, even when the coming is hard. Some seasons I prayed because I desperately needed God to intervene. Other seasons I carried disappointment, confusion, and unspoken questions, and I quietly wondered whether He was even listening.
When Prayer Feels Like Silence
Now I know that many women feel that way. What I love about God is that He is not intimidated by our questions, our tears, or even our silence. He invites us to come exactly as we are, mess and all.
Looking back, I can see that even when I was inconsistent, God remained faithful. Even when I drifted, He kept drawing me back. Not with condemnation, but with grace. Somewhere between praying and waiting, He was already doing the deeper work.
Does God Answer When We Cannot Hear Him?
I used to believe unanswered prayer meant an absent God. I have since learned something gentler, and far more useful. Prayer does not change God. He has always been faithful, loving, and present. Prayer changes us instead.
It softens the heart. It teaches surrender and patience. It aligns our will with His and reminds us that His timing, however slow it feels, is never careless. God was not silent in my hardest seasons. He was preparing me, quietly, for something I could not yet see.
Prayer That Shapes Us, Not Just Our Circumstances
There was a lot God had to deal with in me before He could entrust me with more. He exposed areas that needed healing. He dealt with attitudes that did not reflect His heart. He taught me forgiveness, humility, and obedience, often through seasons I once thought were simply difficult for no reason.
Jesus said it plainly: every branch that bears fruit, He prunes, so that it may bear more fruit (John 15:2, NKJV). His pruning was never punishment. It was preparation. I am still being shaped, and I still fall short daily. But if my life tells any story, I pray it tells the story of a faithful God who never gave up on a questioning woman who kept coming back anyway.
Finding My Destiny Helpers
A few years ago, someone spoke a word into my life from Esther 4:14, asking who knows whether I had come to such a position for a time such as this. Those words settled into my spirit long before I understood them. Around that same season, I began praying intentionally for what I now call destiny helpers.
Every vision God places in your heart requires people He has already prepared to help you carry it. None of us were ever meant to fulfil a calling alone. God answered that prayer. He surrounded me with people who taught me how to pray, how to love His word, and how to remain steady in difficult seasons.
My faith journey has stretched into surprising places since. It carried into a recent season of serving quietly in Nyazura and at Little Kraal Prison, where showing up mattered more than having answers. There was a season when I thought withdrawing would protect me. Instead, isolation let discouragement grow louder than hope. I learned that we genuinely need one another.
That truth, that a community of faith carries what one woman was never meant to carry alone, became one of the foundations Her Secret Place was eventually built on. I saw the same lesson when hundreds of women gathered for the Women’s Run. We were not built to walk this out alone.
Why This Is Only the Beginning
I did not know, as a teenager, where God would lead me. I only knew the prayer itself: Lord, bless me so that I can be a blessing to others. Looking back, that prayer, and the secret place of prayer it grew from, was always leading somewhere.
In part two, I will share what that somewhere looked like once it finally took shape, and why I chose to call it Her Secret Place. For now, I would love to hear from you. Where has your own secret place of prayer led you, even when you could not see the path? Share your story in the comments, or read more in Walk Boldly in Faith.
